If I were a real writer I would have been writing posts over the last weeks to help me process everything we have been through since Christmas. But I am not so here I am, 3 weeks later to summarize it all.
It all started with a late night at work and the call from Erik "Maggie has a lump on her throat and I'm taking her to urgent care". You never want that call. Text messages followed every 15 minutes giving me updates - they called a specialist, she may have to have a CT scan, not really sure what it is... They put her on antibiotics and sent them on their way. 2 days later, what should have been a quick follow up specialist appointment turned into "we have to admit her now and plan to be there 5 days". So many questions but no idea what they were.
So the next 5 days starts and it is all a blur right now - 1 week later. After all of the horrible things we experienced over those days there are 2 moments that will stick in my mind forever. The look in her eyes when she went through the CAT scan and the feeling of her limp body as the anesthesia took hold before her surgery. No one should ever have to see or feel either of those things and I would like to think I never will again.
So we are home and finally getting back to normal and in sort of a holding pattern until we find out what the real diagnosis is. We are pretty sure whatever it is is not serious, but could require follow up surgery in the next few weeks. At this point, I am just happy to have my happy, feisty, stubborn, funny little girl back - it has been way too long since I have seen the real Maggie. And just so this post isn't completely depressing, I will end with our 4:15 PM conversation tonight:
We are reading her book- "The First 100 Words" and she sees a picture of cheese
"Cheese?" as she walks to the fridge and tries opening the door
"You want cheese?"
"Cheese?"
"Maggie, we're eating dinner in 45 minutes, let's just have some milk"
"Cheese?"
"OK, 1 cheese slice" Let me mention though - she has never had an interest in cheese slices. But she inhales this slice.
"More? Cheese?" as she does her sign language motion for 'more' standing at the fridge
"really?"
"More? Cheese?"
"Ok, one more" and she inhales that one
"More? Cheese?"
"Maggie - do you just want dinner now?"
"OK" nodding her head "SIT DOWN" as she pull her high chair away from the table and starts to climb in
It's good to see she has her appetite back.
Oh and Maggie - just so you know, your dad watched the AFC Championship game, with the Steelers in it, by your bedside in the hospital room. If that doesn't tell you how loved you are, I don't know what does!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Christmas is coming
It's the night before the night before Christmas and I can't wait for tomorrow. I still think Maggie's a little young to get the whole Christmas thing but I'm hoping for a little excitement when she walks down the stairs in the morning to find her new Elmo kitchen (courtesy of Gramma and Pap). When I ask her if she wants Santa to bring her presents she clearly states "NO" with a look of concern on her face. Could this be because Gramma and I traumatized her with an attempt at a picture with Santa Claus? Although I'm not sure how can we blame kids for being scared to sit on a strange man's lap...it is an odd tradition.
We let Maggie open a gift that my boss gave her this past weekend. It was a step stool/chair with her name on it and I have never seen her react the way she did when she saw it. She gave me the biggest smile I have ever seen and gently sat on it, then stepped up and down on it for the rest of the night. If it is possible for a 19 month old to be appreciative, that was what that was. She was so happy for that one thing, it was so special to her.
As much as I know I will not follow through with this, I want to teach her the spirit of giving and how much you get is not nearly as important as how much you give. I don't want to spoil her with stuff. One of her new phrases these days is "mine, mine" at the same time holding whatever the item is close to her chest and turning away from you. It doesn't matter what it is (it was nail clippers tonight, yesterday it was hotdogs at the grocery store), it is HERS. I'm sure this is a defense mechanism learned at daycare where 10 kids all want the same toy, but I am not a big fan of the "mine". I'm sure it's a phase and she'll grow out of it so for now we'll just reinforce that everything is not hers, sharing is important, blah blah blah.
On the flip side, she turns sweeter and sweeter everyday. When I come home and ask her for a kiss, she immediately says "da da" and runs to him to give him a kiss, then gives me one. And vice versa if she gives Da da a kiss...she must give me equal kisses. She never wants anyone to be left out which I just love. And last weekend when we all made Christmas cookies together, she was the most low maintenance child you can imagine. Just sitting in her high chair singing "la La LA" over and over to entertain us.
So we will see which Maggie we get over the next few days - the one who runs around and gives kisses to everyone, or the one stealing everyone's stuff yelling "MINE!".
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
We let Maggie open a gift that my boss gave her this past weekend. It was a step stool/chair with her name on it and I have never seen her react the way she did when she saw it. She gave me the biggest smile I have ever seen and gently sat on it, then stepped up and down on it for the rest of the night. If it is possible for a 19 month old to be appreciative, that was what that was. She was so happy for that one thing, it was so special to her.
As much as I know I will not follow through with this, I want to teach her the spirit of giving and how much you get is not nearly as important as how much you give. I don't want to spoil her with stuff. One of her new phrases these days is "mine, mine" at the same time holding whatever the item is close to her chest and turning away from you. It doesn't matter what it is (it was nail clippers tonight, yesterday it was hotdogs at the grocery store), it is HERS. I'm sure this is a defense mechanism learned at daycare where 10 kids all want the same toy, but I am not a big fan of the "mine". I'm sure it's a phase and she'll grow out of it so for now we'll just reinforce that everything is not hers, sharing is important, blah blah blah.
On the flip side, she turns sweeter and sweeter everyday. When I come home and ask her for a kiss, she immediately says "da da" and runs to him to give him a kiss, then gives me one. And vice versa if she gives Da da a kiss...she must give me equal kisses. She never wants anyone to be left out which I just love. And last weekend when we all made Christmas cookies together, she was the most low maintenance child you can imagine. Just sitting in her high chair singing "la La LA" over and over to entertain us.
So we will see which Maggie we get over the next few days - the one who runs around and gives kisses to everyone, or the one stealing everyone's stuff yelling "MINE!".
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Home Alone
I am home alone tonight...not really, Maggie's sleeping upstairs but for the first time in a long time I am able to have complete control of the remote and I'm watching What Not to Wear with a Fine Living Network chaser. No, scratch that, I am not flipping back and forth between channels, I'm actually sitting through the commercials! GASP...
But I have the monitor on next to me and find myself missing whole segments of Stacey and Clinton's wise advice just to listen to the sweet hum of Maggie sleeping. Our heat has been on the fritz for a few days so Maggie has been sleeping at Aunt Jen's and I didn't realize how quiet our house was without her until then. Even when she's upstairs sleeping she breathes life into this house.
Maggie turned 19 months yesterday and she celebrated by officially calling an end to her morning naps. We have still been putting her down for a morning nap the past 2 weekends but lately she has just been sitting in her crib singing songs at the top of her lungs. The monitor is like XM radio now. Her catchy tune "baaa baaa baaa" really cannot be missed.
So now we have more of Maggie on the weekends and she is truly cracking me up. I was pretending to read a magazine today but was really watching her read a book out loud. It was a book of baby animals and as she flipped each page she very seriously made the correct animal noise for each one "R-O-A-R (lion)...BBBPPPPP (elephant)...AH AH AH (monkey)". It was amazing to me to watch her do this un-prompted. But my favorite book that she "reads" to me is the Good Night Bear book. She flips through each page saying "that's a bear, that's a bear, that's a bear, that's a bear..." in a perfect Italian accent. Her new most used phrase is "that's a [insert noun here]" and, as already mentioned, it is always in an Italian accent.
I think I might have gotten what I wished for years ago when Erik and I watched the movie "Life is Beautiful". We fell in love with the little Italian boy (Giosua) and swore we wanted to teach our child Italian just so he or she would sound that cute. Maggie really does sound that cute and the likenesses in our recent family picture are uncanny:
Monday, November 24, 2008
Toddler in the Hood
I was away for work a few days last week and can't believe how much Maggie grew up in such a short time. She literally repeats everything we say which, as you can imagine if you have ever read Erik's blog, is not always a good thing. We are officially on the shoot, darn, fudge, God bless it bandwagon. Our ipod playlists are set to Maggie-friendly vs. non-Maggie-friendly.
And we spell. You can't just say "should we give her mac-n-cheese for dinner?" without her immediately running to her high chair crying "UPPA...SIT DOWN". Someday Erik will learn this. Yesterday I asked Erik what we should make her for dinner and he responds "we could do nuggets, peanut butter and jelly, mac-n-cheese, hot dog, whatever". Now in Maggie's little head, there is immediately a buffet of all of the above-mentioned items waiting for her at the kitchen table at this very moment. This is information overload and inevitably ends up in meltdown for the entire dinner preparation time. Thanks Erik.
It's hard to switch from being parents of a baby to parents of a toddler when it seems like it changes overnight. All of a sudden she gets everything and who knows what she will teach the other kids at daycare. We are not big regulators as parents. We let Maggie watch some TV before bed (Blue's Clue, Noddy, Sesame Street - it's not like she's watching Entourage - it's on too late), she may have an unhealthy snack here and there, and we might forget to censor ourselves around her sometimes but hopefully we are teaching her the right values despite all of that.
It's more important to me that she learns the unspoken things from us...how we treat people (I'm proud to say Thank You is her favorite phrase), how we live for our family, how to always have fun and not take anything too seriously.
I guess it all remains to be seen...look us up in 18 years!
And we spell. You can't just say "should we give her mac-n-cheese for dinner?" without her immediately running to her high chair crying "UPPA...SIT DOWN". Someday Erik will learn this. Yesterday I asked Erik what we should make her for dinner and he responds "we could do nuggets, peanut butter and jelly, mac-n-cheese, hot dog, whatever". Now in Maggie's little head, there is immediately a buffet of all of the above-mentioned items waiting for her at the kitchen table at this very moment. This is information overload and inevitably ends up in meltdown for the entire dinner preparation time. Thanks Erik.
It's hard to switch from being parents of a baby to parents of a toddler when it seems like it changes overnight. All of a sudden she gets everything and who knows what she will teach the other kids at daycare. We are not big regulators as parents. We let Maggie watch some TV before bed (Blue's Clue, Noddy, Sesame Street - it's not like she's watching Entourage - it's on too late), she may have an unhealthy snack here and there, and we might forget to censor ourselves around her sometimes but hopefully we are teaching her the right values despite all of that.
It's more important to me that she learns the unspoken things from us...how we treat people (I'm proud to say Thank You is her favorite phrase), how we live for our family, how to always have fun and not take anything too seriously.
I guess it all remains to be seen...look us up in 18 years!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Little Miss Diva
I had to stop and just look at Maggie today on our way out the door. There she was standing in front of me in her khaki colored "trench coat", gold bracelet (that she stole off my wrist), keys and Blackberry ready to go to "school". But as if that wasn't enough, she kept crying "more? more? more?"...OH...I forgot...you need your binky. The little businesswoman still needs her binky.
It has been an amazing month with Maggie talking more and more everyday. Sometimes I forget we are not having real conversations. She talks in full gibberish sentences and looks at you for a response, it feels as if you are really communicating. And she is starting to put 2 and 3 real words together to make (fragmented) sentences. Yesterday morning as Erik was leaving for work she yelled "DaDa" and he yelled "Bye Moo" all the way until she heard him walk out the door. Then she said quietly "Bye Bye Da Da" and went on to eat her pancake.
I realized just how much she gets it today when she was going through the bowl in our entryway where we keep our keys and miscellaneous junk. She picked up the AC/DC CD that Erik made for Uncle Bruce and walked around the house with that for a while. But when I said "can you put the CD back and bring my Blackberry and keys to me", I turned around and there she was in her khaki colored "trench coat", gold bracelet, keys and Blackberry. And the CD was back in the bowl.
And when I read a library book to her last week just one time, the next time we read it, she made all of the same gestures and comments that I did the first time I read the book. So as I read it to her (for the 500th time) last night it went a little like this:
It was bedtime and 5 little monkeys said good night to their mama
Maggie: MAMA!
And Five Little Monkeys jumped on the bed
One fell off and bumped her head
Maggie: OH NO!
Mama called the doctor
Maggie: Hello DaDa (Doctor)
And the Doctor Said...
Maggie shakes her finger and says NO NO
NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!
So now if I say no to her I get the finger shake. It's pretty cute...as long as she's not mocking me. Which I think she might be...but it's still cute.
It has been an amazing month with Maggie talking more and more everyday. Sometimes I forget we are not having real conversations. She talks in full gibberish sentences and looks at you for a response, it feels as if you are really communicating. And she is starting to put 2 and 3 real words together to make (fragmented) sentences. Yesterday morning as Erik was leaving for work she yelled "DaDa" and he yelled "Bye Moo" all the way until she heard him walk out the door. Then she said quietly "Bye Bye Da Da" and went on to eat her pancake.
I realized just how much she gets it today when she was going through the bowl in our entryway where we keep our keys and miscellaneous junk. She picked up the AC/DC CD that Erik made for Uncle Bruce and walked around the house with that for a while. But when I said "can you put the CD back and bring my Blackberry and keys to me", I turned around and there she was in her khaki colored "trench coat", gold bracelet, keys and Blackberry. And the CD was back in the bowl.
And when I read a library book to her last week just one time, the next time we read it, she made all of the same gestures and comments that I did the first time I read the book. So as I read it to her (for the 500th time) last night it went a little like this:
It was bedtime and 5 little monkeys said good night to their mama
Maggie: MAMA!
And Five Little Monkeys jumped on the bed
One fell off and bumped her head
Maggie: OH NO!
Mama called the doctor
Maggie: Hello DaDa (Doctor)
And the Doctor Said...
Maggie shakes her finger and says NO NO
NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!
So now if I say no to her I get the finger shake. It's pretty cute...as long as she's not mocking me. Which I think she might be...but it's still cute.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Worst Week Ever.
OK...so in the whole scheme of things it was not the worst week ever. But it certainly wasn't the best.
Erik was away this week so it was just the girls. I had visions of doing fun girl stuff together, letting her sleep in my bed, playing, etc. etc. etc. But...when you work 8-5 the harsh reality is, you barely have enough time to do what needs to be done, let alone braid each others hair (like I can braid hair - ok, maybe a regular braid, but don't even bother asking for a french braid. That is Aunt Jen's department).
So the week went more like this:
Wake up early Monday because we have to take Erik to drop off his truck, then Maggie at daycare, then Erik at work so I get to work 20 minutes late. Have incredibly busy day at work and leave at 5:01 to get Maggie. She's not used to being at daycare that late so of course I am stressed about it all day. I show up at 5:15 and she could care less that she's been there an hour longer than usual. I watch her through the window before going in just to see how she plays. She picked up a baby doll and so sweetly laid her on the table as if she was going to change her diaper, hugged her and rocked her. I walked in and she throws the baby on the floor and yells "bye bye ba-by" and runs to me. Sweet...domestic abuse at its finest.
Tuesday - this is going to be a good day. I have a work dinner with a good group, Aunt Jen is babysitting. Yes, I have 3 short nights with Maggie alone and I get a babysitter. What can I say? Dinner went well, Maggie and Aunt Jen had a great night together, she's sleeping when I get home so I go to bed early. Everything goes well until midnight when chaos ensues. The cough is back and with a vengeance. She is coughing so violently she throws up. So since I was not around for dinner, she made sure that I could see (and wear) what she had. Oh, I see Aunt Jen gave you fish sticks tonight. Great.
Of course this all happens right after I read an article in Parents magazine about how a toddler rarely throws up only once. So of course I am waiting for the other shoe to drop...all...night...long. And very little sleep was had. To top it off, Maggie (who NEVER wakes up before 7 when Erik is home) wakes up at 6 AM the next morning, the time when I usually get in the shower. So now I get to entertain while I get ready...did I mention I had very little sleep? This is going to be a great day.
Oh and it was. I won't go into boring work stuff because this is not about me (who are we kidding?) but suffice it to say Wednesday was my busiest work day ever. Get through that, pick up Maggie at 5:15 to find her wearing a fireman's coat strutting around the classroom like it's no big deal. This has to be the best part of the day, to catch her in a moment when she doesn't know I'm watching.
Rather than going into more poor me, I will just summarize the point of this post. I admire single working moms so much it's not funny. How they do it and still have any ounce of sanity left is beyond me, but they deserve medals and trophies and cakes and cookies and everything that is good in the world because I stepped into those shoes for 3 short days and think I might have to hibernate for a week just to catch up.
Now excuse me while I go pray to the sleep gods...we really need a full night tonight...please?
Erik was away this week so it was just the girls. I had visions of doing fun girl stuff together, letting her sleep in my bed, playing, etc. etc. etc. But...when you work 8-5 the harsh reality is, you barely have enough time to do what needs to be done, let alone braid each others hair (like I can braid hair - ok, maybe a regular braid, but don't even bother asking for a french braid. That is Aunt Jen's department).
So the week went more like this:
Wake up early Monday because we have to take Erik to drop off his truck, then Maggie at daycare, then Erik at work so I get to work 20 minutes late. Have incredibly busy day at work and leave at 5:01 to get Maggie. She's not used to being at daycare that late so of course I am stressed about it all day. I show up at 5:15 and she could care less that she's been there an hour longer than usual. I watch her through the window before going in just to see how she plays. She picked up a baby doll and so sweetly laid her on the table as if she was going to change her diaper, hugged her and rocked her. I walked in and she throws the baby on the floor and yells "bye bye ba-by" and runs to me. Sweet...domestic abuse at its finest.
Tuesday - this is going to be a good day. I have a work dinner with a good group, Aunt Jen is babysitting. Yes, I have 3 short nights with Maggie alone and I get a babysitter. What can I say? Dinner went well, Maggie and Aunt Jen had a great night together, she's sleeping when I get home so I go to bed early. Everything goes well until midnight when chaos ensues. The cough is back and with a vengeance. She is coughing so violently she throws up. So since I was not around for dinner, she made sure that I could see (and wear) what she had. Oh, I see Aunt Jen gave you fish sticks tonight. Great.
Of course this all happens right after I read an article in Parents magazine about how a toddler rarely throws up only once. So of course I am waiting for the other shoe to drop...all...night...long. And very little sleep was had. To top it off, Maggie (who NEVER wakes up before 7 when Erik is home) wakes up at 6 AM the next morning, the time when I usually get in the shower. So now I get to entertain while I get ready...did I mention I had very little sleep? This is going to be a great day.
Oh and it was. I won't go into boring work stuff because this is not about me (who are we kidding?) but suffice it to say Wednesday was my busiest work day ever. Get through that, pick up Maggie at 5:15 to find her wearing a fireman's coat strutting around the classroom like it's no big deal. This has to be the best part of the day, to catch her in a moment when she doesn't know I'm watching.
Rather than going into more poor me, I will just summarize the point of this post. I admire single working moms so much it's not funny. How they do it and still have any ounce of sanity left is beyond me, but they deserve medals and trophies and cakes and cookies and everything that is good in the world because I stepped into those shoes for 3 short days and think I might have to hibernate for a week just to catch up.
Now excuse me while I go pray to the sleep gods...we really need a full night tonight...please?
Monday, October 13, 2008
Baby Blues
My name is Maggie...
Some of you call me Moo...
But I am here to tell you
I have the Ba-a-a-by Blues...
Maggie has added a new instrument to her repertoire. After mastering the xylophone, maraca and bongo she has moved onto wind instruments...the harmonica. The old blues harp. She's pretty good too. I thought she was a regular Matthew McCounaghey on the bongos, now she's like John Popper to the harmonica...and don't even get me started on her dancing.
We keep it in the car now and it's funny when all of a sudden she'll belt out a few notes, then put it carefully next to her just in case the mood strikes her again. Every other toy in the car she throws in utter disregard when she is done with it, but not the harmonica. It is always within arms reach. It's especially adorable when, in the middle of a rif, she'll say "ALRIGHT!" and then continue to play.
Alright is the word du jour. At first I couldn't figure out where she learned it until I paid attention to the words I say to her. Alright has got to be the most overused word in my vocabulary and I had no idea. Now even if I tried to stop I'm not sure I could.
We're also trying to (ahem...brainwash)...teach her to say "OBAMA" and she hasn't quite mastered it yet, but I'm almost happier with her version - "Oh-mama". And if we ask her to say Obama Mama she says Oh-mamamama.
So Maggie, why don't you break it down for us a little...
That's right, I got the Ba-a-a-by Blues....
ALRIGHT! Go Oh-mama!
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