Never Say Never

I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids. How true is the title of this book by Trisha Ashworth?

When I was younger:

I NEVER wanted kids…

But if I did I would NEVER even consider buying a minivan;

And if I did I would NEVER plop her in front of the TV so I could do anything for myself;

And NEVER would I be the type of parent who dotes on every little meaningless, mundane task that she accomplished on a daily basis

Well now it’s today and I have the most beautiful little girl in the world that I completely adore, am fascinated by and could watch the way her little mind works every second of every minute of every day.

I spend my free time searching Carmax for a non-minivan looking minivan knowing that I never (ok, maybe never is too strong of a word) would actually purchase and drive one, but dreaming of how nice it would be to sit in the front seat when Erik and I take a trip together while being able to walk to the backseat to pop a dropped pacifier back in her mouth, look out my rear passenger window while driving and actually see something other than a monstrosity of a car seat, and actually be able to have leg room in the front and back seats. As much as I hate to admit it, my little A4 just isn’t cutting it now that I’m a mom. I can’t remember the last time Erik and I had a conversation in the car that did not involve looking at each other through the rear view mirror. I always told Erik I felt like I was a passenger in his life (not that I was complaining…he just seems to take care of everything and I’m just along for the ride), but never could that be more true than today.

I have been known to prop her up in our bed and turn on Noggin (it’s educational right?) so that I could put some makeup on and maybe do my hair so I at least looked like I looked in the mirror before I left the house. It’s amazing how much what I wore meant to me before Maggie and now as long as I have something on that is covering all of the new “curves” I am perfectly fine with that.

And on many occasions I have been known to point out to Erik that she is ACTUALLY LOOKING AT HER HAND…or that she ACTUALLY HANDED ME HER PACIFIER…or SHE SAID HI DAD! Our child is a genius!!!

So I guess the cliché really is true as much as I NEVER wanted to admit it.